Become a better rider every day

What a day, what a day. Spent the whole day at a rider training course, and came home with mixed feelings. After all the scrambling I'd done yesterday, things didn't go so smoothly and I had to spend an extra $150 out of pocket today because I was careless about having a good look over my bike. Add to that the fact that I picked up a fucking nail in my rear tire somewhere on the way home.

Anyway, I had fun on the course - learnt a few things that'll make me a better rider. But more importantly, I came into personal contact with some idiots that really drummed into me the importance of riding safe out there. You know the types - the middle-aged asswipe who thinks he knows everything and just keeps doing what he's doing (don't ask me why he's at the course) until the day he wraps his bike around a tree. And at the other end - the neurotic chick who's doing the course just because her boyfriend thinks she should, and is riding a machine that's just way too much for her to handle because he said so. Needless to say, after the day was over, I waited a good while after they'd left and had a cool drink with some new friends before heading out onto the roads myself.

Anyway, the good news is that I learnt some things about myself and my riding techniques today. I've realised that I've "mellowed out" in the recent past. I always expect the worst from everyone else on the road and prepare accordingly, but now I don't get as agro when people act like real idiots and endanger my life out there. I'm more willing to leave a longer buffer space in front of me despite some drivers taking it as an open invitation to squeeze in. So what if my trip takes an extra 5 minutes? I wouldn't trade a leg and collarbone for those 5 minutes. Other than that, the only things I've really got to work on is to stop riding the clutch so much - both in the car and on the bike - as well as to tone down on the engine braking. It's all fine and dandy when there's no one behind me, but recently I've been using engine braking even when there are cars behind me just out of habit. Yeah, I know, real stupid. There's a reason for brake lights on a bike.

Anyway, I got through the course today with a perfect score. Now all I gotta make sure about is that I get a perfect score out there on the roads as well.

If only I looked as good in the helmet

Posted in motorcycle

First visit to the Endocrinologist

Had my first visit to see Dr.H, my endocrinologist. He was certainly a lot nicer than I'd imagined, although I'm not sure why I'd imagined a stuffy old strictly-facts type in the first place. Well, I suppose his waiting-room (well, the waiting room he shares with his other colleagues in Bondi Junction) doesn't help - lots of nice art pieces, but the receptionists were a little cold and harried for my liking.

My appointment was made for 3.10pm, but he saw me 5 minutes early. Nothing spectacular, but I'm used to waiting half an hour for doctors' appointments. I'm starting to realise that specialists are a different breed altogether. He asked a lot of casual questions, trying to build a rapport and made pleasant chit-chat. He made sure I knew what I was getting into, and gave me some reading material for the next visit while I asked him about some minor questions that I had. In any case, he was very attentive with all the facts of my medical history that I thought were relevant, and in general, I'm very happy to have him as my endocrinologist.

After a short exam (height, weight, and a quick exam of my abdomen) he sent me off to get my bloodwork done. I will see him again in 2 weeks, at which point if nothing unusual comes back in the results, I will receive my first dose of testosterone. The way we will be approaching it will be to start off with a low dose of 100mg (I can't remember if he mentioned enanthate, propionate or cypionate) every 2 weeks and gradually work our way up to a higher dose.

Posted in hormones

Book review: Middlesex

Post about the book

The Green Light!!!

The last time I posted I was a little bummed about the whole "starting transition" process. Based on the many stories I'd heard and the information both given to me and out there on the internet, I was starting to worry that it would take forever to start on T and get going on starting this new phase of life. Those of you who've read my blog from the beginning will know that I'm sort of in a "transition stage" with the whole career thing. I don't want to have to go through this major change while in the workplace, or to be forced to deal with being openly transsexual in the field I work in, as I'm not sure of how well the idea will be accepted. Therefore, I was hoping to get some headway in the transition process before starting my proper career, and am simply enjoying life/paying the bills with part-time work at a friend's shop and coaching in the meantime.

By the way, that picture at the top is how a lot of people feel about their situation with starting T.

Anyway, this is what happened to me. On the 5th of July I'd gotten a list of GPs and psychiatrists who are trans-friendly when I went in to see Gaye the counsellor at the Gender Centre. 3 weeks later saw me griping about how no one was taking in new patients or had an available appointment for ages except for one Dr.T who would charge $200 per session (of which Medicare members would get $120 back, but I'm with Medibank and am not sure what I'd recover from them). Gaye recommended that I call a Dr.P who is based in Wollongong but comes in to Sydney twice a week, and later that day, Dr. Hansen returned my call and recommended him as well.

So I call Dr.P and leave a message on the machine, and he was really nice to return my call after hours that same day. We scheduled a session for his next available slot on the 28th of August, a whole 5 weeks from then! Also, he said that he'd charge the minimum required by Medicare at $151.40, which was fine by me.

Fast forward 5 weeks and it's Sunday night, I'm telling myself that I have to get to bed so that I'll be ready for an early start to a long day. I kept getting a dread feeling that I shouldn't get exceited, that I'd only be made to wait even longer to start on T. I silently cursed myself for being in counselling for so long before moving on to seeing a psych, and wondered if I should stop putting my working career on hold and just hope for the best.

The next morning I get to Dr.P's office in the city 15 minutes early and give my bike a loving pat for getting me out of the parking headache in Sydney. I find Dr.P to be an extremely pleasant man in appearance and demeanour, a soft-spoken and articulate gentleman through and through. We have a very pleasant hour, during which we talk about my family, background, the discussions I've had with Gaye and other general personal information. At the end he suddenly tells me that he's heard enough and in his professional opinion, he would be able to write me a referral to an endocrinologist in good conscience. My eyes must have been as wide as dinnerplates, as I'd anticipated having to see him maybe once or twice more in the span of 3 months before getting that referral!

Anyway, I have 20 minutes between leaving Dr.P in the city and getting in to the Gender Centre in Petersham. I get there in good time (how I love my bike!) despite nearly getting killed by an idiot driving a van (who just shrugged his shoulders when I squeezed in next to him and rapped on his window to shake my fist at him). Anyway, long story short, I tell Gaye that I've gotten the green light from Dr.P to see a Dr.H who is based in Bondi Junction. We later bump into D, a fellow trans-boi I've written about before, and he says that he had an excellent experience with Dr.H, so I'm happy about that. I asked if anyone knew what the waiting period would be like to get an appointment, and no one knew. I wasn't looking forward to another 5-week wait after the shock of that morning.

The second shock was soon to come. I rang up the office of Dr.H on Thursday and was surprised to be given an appointment for next Wednesday, a mere 6 days from then! That was certainly unexpected! So I could be seeing my first dose of T very very soon! I'm obviously looking forward to the day, although I'm not quite sure what to expect from it. The other piece of information that D gave me was that Dr.H only requires his first-time patients to take their tops off, while a lot of other endocrinologists require their first-time patients to take both their tops and bottoms off.

So that's what been going on for me in the past few weeks, and that's what I'll be looking forward to this coming week. I'm sure I could've said it an a lot less words instead of such a long rambling post. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Posted in transition, hormones, counselling, Gender-Centre, trans-friends

Spring is in the air!

Well, we've officially seen the first day of spring, and we couldn't see a more perfect start to the new cycle of the seasons. The flowers are already in full bloom, the weather's just perfect to spend the day outdoors, and the bees are hard at work doing what they do best.

I've been living my weeks walking around in a daze, surrounded by a haze of puppy love. Or at least that's what it feels like. My thoughts are consumed entirely by her, my hours are filled with thoughts of how wonderful it would be the next time we see each other. *sigh* To be young and in love during the season of young love... how cliché. I think there's even a slight spring in my step despite the the now full-blown rider's swagger that I've unfortunately developed.

The other big news from me is that I've been given the official green light to start with hormone therapy!!! It's pretty big news, so I thought I'd keep it in a separate post for the sake of being organised.

The only low point in the past few weeks was falling really sick a week-and-a-half ago, with the flu. Now I consider myself pretty tough when it comes to handling ailments and injuries, but this one hit me like a ton of bricks. I'd felt a little "off" all that day, but figured that I was just coming down with a cold, so I kept drinking lots of fluids and keeping myself warm to keep it under control. Then at about 10.30 that night, while I was home alone, my temperature suddenly spiked, my sinuses blocked up completely and my glands around my neck swelled up uncomfortably. Now, I usually avoid taking any kind of medication as much as possible, but I figured now would be a good time to look through the tons of pills and ointments that my dad packs for me every other year or so when I see my parents.

Anyway, apart from the delirious fever and general discomfort of simultaneously not being able to breathe through my nose while trying to nurse a sore throat, what really got to me was the partial loss of hearing I experienced (and am still recovering from!) from having blocked ears. What really got to my parents was the fact that I'd nearly completely lost my voice for a couple of days, which made it difficult for me to convince them that I wasn't dying from some super-flu or meningococcal virus.

The nice part of all of this was that I got to stay home and watch DVDs all day in between of falling in-and-out of sleep, while trying to respond to all the sms-es coming through on both mobiles phones. I managed to get up-to-date on every season of Arrested Development (hilarious! Almost as good as Curb Your Enthusiasm), House and Scrubs, so that was fun. Heck, if you're going to be quarantined from all human contact with a highly contagious virus, there's no better way to spend it than soup and DVDs, is there?

Posted in oats, ala-mode