Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we...

It's been 3 months since starting this blog, since deciding to take a big step towards finding inner peace. In many ways, I'm already light years ahead of where I started from. Then again, I haven't even gotten my first dose of T yet. And every waking minute I feel like I'm going to burst if I don't go out and get that prescrition asap.

And then the rational bit in my brain says, "You know it's the best thing to wait. What's the hurry? You've waiting 25 years for this - what's 25 more days?" And the other 99% of my brain has to agree, whether it likes it or not. The waiting time will mean an extra month of fat-loss before the potential water-retention from T, an extra month of just chilling out before re-introducing major stress into my life, an extra month of preparing myself to prepare all those around me for the changes about to happen.

3 months ago I could barely bring myself to type the word "transsexual", and 2 months ago I could hardly get the word out of my mouth. Now I fully embrace my position on neither "end" of the gender spectrum - in fact, in my mind I'm already physically halfway through transition. I love how hairy my unshaven legs and pits have become. I love how broad and square my shoulders have become (a friend actually commented the other day. Sweet!). And I love checking out all those shoes and clothes I'll be getting when I have the right chest and hips. And all this before even starting T! I can't imagine how amazing I'll find all these little transformations when I actually get the stuff!

A couple of little notes: been hitting the bench press everytime I've got a couple minutes between things. Am pressing 20 kgs with 9/9/9 reps each time coupled with 9/9/9 reps butterfly with 4.5 kgs since my triceps feel the strain on the bench press more than my pecs do. Also on a more personal note, been practicing peeing standing up, which I used to be able to do like a pro (look ma, no hands!) up till age 11. Apparently it's not exactly like riding a bike...

Posted in transition, muscles, physique