And now I'm even more in a funk. I just had a chat with one of the few persons I consider a lifelong friend. We'd been best friends through our school years, and are still close. What made us even closer was that she's a lesbian, and had the courage to come out to me and the rest of our "gang" a few years ago. I wished I'd had her courage, as I never came out to those same friends.
Anyway, she's known that I'm into women all this while, but I'd only now said anything about my gender identity. Of course, she was very supportive although she didn't know much about the issue. Yet, it was awkward. Very awkward. And this was a conversation in text, across continents. Can you imagine what it would be like in person?
All in all, I'm starting to feel a lot more nervous about talking to my friends and family this trip home about this. I've just got to tell myself, it's now or never. I probably won't see any of them again until after I've started my transition, and it'll be a lot worse then. Plus, my parents would feel so betrayed and alienated if I took this step without having talked to them about it.
When will this get easier...
Posted in friends, coming-out
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Friends...
Posted by Nick at 11:06 pm
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6 comments:
I can imagine.... I'll be next sometime soon, that is if i can get in to see a friggin counselor.
Im going to have to tell the family and stuff sometime. (and work etc) I dont have to do it yet tho, gettign the ball rolling is what im trying to do. Put it off for 2 years doing research, and another ...im not sure why.
I dont believe it really gets easier any time soon. LOL. but it wont be a pain in the ass forever.
Hey archangel,
It's bloody difficult to get in to see a counsellor isn't it?! I suppose there are a lot of people with gender issues and not enough counsellors specialising in it.
I put off starting anything and researching internet sources for about 2.5 years too. I think it's good to think things through and not rush into it, especially something major (and irreversible!) like this. I feel totally ready now though, and maybe that's why I'm feeling brave enough to talk to mum & dad and friends.
Best of luck, and take care.
no damn kidding! (far as counselors go)
You'd think someone would have a secretary. Every time i manage to find another place that does TG counseling, i get a voicemail account. But it takes days to hear back. (at least so far)
The first place i called on Jan 10th or something like that...(and emailed, etc). Never did get a call back but i finally got an email about it on the 18th. (holy shit) and aparently there's a waiting list.
A waiting list? (thinking to myself) You've got to be kidding? How the hell many of us are there down here?? (Southern California, USA) Aparently more than i thought.
maybe its a labor of love for the counselors or somethign. Maybe it doesnt pay well as other stuff and they do it on the side. But i doubt it, considering the hourly charge. I work at a harley davidson dealership, and their hourly charges (from what ive gathered) seem to be right up there with our hourly shop rate.
unbelievable.
We tend to forget there are many transgendered men out there too, seeking counselling and the like. Maybe because we want a man's body so much, it's easy to forget that there are men out there who want a woman's body. =)
You work at a Harley dealership?! Oooh, the staff discount must be sweet. I don't have a Harley (yet), I've got a naked Duke (yes, I know I'm the enemy). I'm waiting for the time I've got a nice big garage of my own before I get a Harley, so I can restore/customise it myself.
gonna get a harley....sweet!!!! lemmie know if you need to pick my brain.
btw what bike is a Duke? (i should know this but its slippin me....somthing european....)
i gotta couple guesses.....i might not have heard that bike referred to over here as a Duke.... (ie.... i have a Bagger.... a touring bike... Electraglide Standard) you guys might call it something differnet.
I definitely will - it's hard being a Harley virgin. It's not an easy circle to break into.
Duke = Ducati. It's typically Italian - temperamental but lots of style. Got a Monster, because I like the naked look. Gets blown about a lot though, compared to the bikes with fairings.
Drop me a line at "t-ssta AT hotmail.com" if you'd like to chat!
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